Yes, Rock is
funny, he can tell stories, and his routines are rarely boring, but where was
the tension between he and Cena? Cena has done so much for this company, and
while I personally am not a fan, I feel bad for the guy. He’s basically in a
box where he can only say so much. He can’t be controversial, he can’t rip into
the fans, he doesn’t even get to ding heels with cool one liners like face
Jericho does. Cena’s only fun seems to be self-deprecating jokes about his own
character and references to the Fruity Pebbles line from two years ago. They
failed to up the stakes and give us a legitimate reason for Cena and Rock to
want to destroy each other. The rest of the card with the exception of maybe
two matches, is just as dry as the main event. WrestleMania 29 is big on names
but very thin on story and without the motivation, without the passion, without
the sense of “I can’t guess what’s going to happen”, you can’t have a phenomenal
show. Let’s go match by match and break down RematchMania!
The Miz Vs. Wade Barrett (IC Title
Match): Macho Man and Ricky Steamboat put on a clinic
for the IC strap 26 Mania’s ago. This year it’s on the line during the pre-show.
I don’t think that’s a bad thing, it gives Miz and Wade a chance to put on a
solid 15 minute match that should
benefit from the hot crowd just ready to get the show started. Storyline wise I
think these two guys did the best they could to elevate the feud after WWE
basically made it into a joke with the “Battle of the Movies” angle. Look for
Miz to win with the figure four, an homage to Ric Flair who probably won’t be
able to make the show due to the passing of his son Reid.
Team Rhonde Scholars & The Bellas
Vs. Tensai-Clay & Cameron and Naomi: This is being billed as the opening match of the show, and
while Cody will likely get a huge smark pop, this will be a train wreck. Naomi
is probably the most athletic person in the match, so look for her to start hot.
Hopefully we see a few high spots, a Golddust run in, and a victory for the face
team within five minutes.
Chris Jericho Vs. Fandango: Fan-Dang-Go has gotten more heat
for not wrestling than Antonio Cesaro has gotten defending the United States
Champion. WWE smartly realized that Fandango, despite the lame gimmick, could
be a future star, and I’m sure at this point in his career Jericho handpicked
the man formerly known as Johnny Curtis for a reason. One of the better
matchups in my opinion, Curtis will come out looking to prove that he belongs
on the big stage and Jericho will try to prove that he still has it, in what
could possibly be his last Mania appearance. Fandango by pin fall.
Mark Henry Vs. Ryback: Feed Me A Bathroom Break! Remember
when Goldberg and Brock stunk up the joint ten years ago? Imagine that x5. Mark
Henry is a gamer, but he’s at his best playing the dominator role. Ryback will
need to be lead the entire match, and I see a slow grind leading to a hot
finish where Ryback picks up the win to a limp pop from the crowd as they
return from the concession stands.
The Shield Vs. Big Show, Sheamus,
Randy Orton: The
reason we need Money In The Bank back at Mania. This is basically a something
to do match. They should throw in Rey Mysterio, Kofi, and Zack Ryder and really
make it a kitchen sink brawl. Let’s face it the Shield are a good faction, but
this is the same exact match they’ve had the last three PPVs and the mismatched
team of Big-Shea-KO have nothing to gain or lose from this battle. It’s not as
if it’s NWO Vs. WCW or Nexus VS. WWE, they aren’t fighting to save anything but
their midcard spots. It’s a shame Orton’s star has fallen to this point, and
that Big Show may be having his last Mania match. Winner the Faces.
Team Hell No Vs. Team AJ Lee(Tag Title Match): Team Hell No has
worn out it’s welcome, last year Daniel Bryan was on top of the world and
although he lost in 18 seconds “Yes” stole the show in Miami. This year look
for a repeat of popularity as Team Hell no wins over Big E and Dolph… but don’t
count Dolph out for long.
Brock Lesnar Vs. Triple H (Retirement Match): Their Summerslam
match was good, not great like Brock Vs. Cena, so I understand the reason to
have a do over. I would rather see Brock used to elevate a younger talent, but
WWE is looking to stack the card rather than be innovative here. Of course,
since Triple H’s popularity has never been on the level it should be, they have
to drag out Shawn Michaels for some extra pops and interest in what should be a
very brutal match. This is the end of the road for Triple H. Brock wins with
interference from Shawn or Stephanie who will give the reason that they just
want Hunter to finally hang it up for the sake of his children. Goodbye Game.
P Diddy Performs: Bathroom break number 2.
Jack Swagger Vs. Alberto Del Rio (WHC
Match): We The
People Have Dropped The Ball! I don’t have a problem with racist storylines,
some of WWE’s best work come out of ignorance and bias. The problem is you can’t
do angles like this in a PG world. This feud has crashed harder than Matt Hardy
after Happy Hour because it’s way too serious. JBL and Eddie Guerrero put on
epic matches revolved around some of the most offensive promos ever cut because
JBL knew how to play it tongue in cheek. Jack Swagger looks lost, like he’s
trying his best to remember to look pissed off and threatening. Change your
hair all you want, Jack, you still look like a kid playing dress up. Zeb Colter
is a great character, but again, there’s no balance when the guy he’s promoting
is that stiff. Alberto Del Rio has impressed me as a face, but he’s not good at
playing this every man Mexican, he’s billed as an aristocrat and now you expect
him to turn on the Che Guevara?
We don’t believe it, and he doesn’t believe it. Jack Swagger may still be able
to salvage this character after Mania, but he loses via arm bar to the champ.
It’s not over yet. Zeb attacks Del Rio. Dolph cashes in
his Money In The Bank to become the champ.
“The Undertaker’s too busy worrying about Paul Bearer’s streak of waking up every morning-- well that’s over!”
– CM Punk
CM Punk Vs. The Oldertaker Undertaker: I didn’t like the way this feud started off, but Paul Bearer dying, as horrible as it sounds, gave it the much needed edge, that it was lacking. Let’s face it, Undertaker’s Promo’s are based on fear and supernatural mumbo jumbo, his opponents are forced to talk about respect and what the streak means, and it’s usually the same old song and dance each year. This time we get CM Punk not showing any respect, playing mind games with the master of mind games, and it’s stealing the show. This is the one match up worth paying for, and it should deliver the match of the year. As much as I would like to see Punk go over, The Streak will continue when Taker locks on Hells Gates and makes the Best In The World tap out. (Check out this article on how the NWO saved Undertaker’s Streak)
Hall Of Fame or Diva Angle: Last chance to take a stretch
before the main event.
John Cena Vs. The Rock (WWE
Championship): Here
we go, twice in a lifetime and the second part of what’s sure to be a trilogy
at this point… GI Joe Vs. The Marine. The Rock has lost a few steps, and his
cardio isn’t up there with the full timers, CM Punk proved that. However Cena
is a much better matchup. The brawling style will keep the crowd going back and
forth, and although these two didn’t bring the fireworks in the buildup, this
match should outshine the first because they trust one
another in the ring. Cena will win. I repeat Cena will win. But here’s
the kicker—Cena wins by turning heel!
The WWE are
booking this as “The Rebirth”, being reborn has nothing to do with winning a
title he’s won ten times already, it’s a change in lifestyle. The Rock’s last
promo on Raw pointed to a “Connection” with the people, those same people are
going to be in New Jersey booing Cena out of the stadium. This is the perfect
night, the perfect opponent, and perfect crowd to pull a Hollywood Hogan. Maybe
The Shield is revealed as Cena’s followers? Maybe he does it by cheating on his
own. However it’s done, it will be monumental and a reason for WWE to say from
now on, “You have to always tune in because anything can happen”. No one will
remember Brock Vs. Triple H, No one cares who won the WHC belt. Taker isn’t
losing the streak. So the only way to make WrestleMania 29 special is to make
it the last time you see the “Never Give Up” Cena.
The Morning After...
Okay so I went 6-3 and Cena didn't turn heel-- lame. Was it a bad Mania? Not at all. Taker and Punk delivered, Brock and Triple H was much better than I ever imagined, and the ending of Rock-Cena more than made up for the slow opening that nearly put me to sleep. I think the true star of the night was Fandango (and his theme song) who came out almost as over as Daniel Bryan did last year.
Where does WWE go from here? Clearly Cena won't be turning heel but I don't know how long the WWE can go with the same old same old in terms of that character. Brock and CM Punk both need to be built back up to monster status, but against who given they both had their Cena PPV's? Dolph will need some really strong B-level Babyfaces to feud with after this Del Rio Angle dies out. Right now there are a lot of heels and not enough faces in the WWE to make great feuds... Stay Tuned to UFB for a preview of next month's PPV.
Okay so I went 6-3 and Cena didn't turn heel-- lame. Was it a bad Mania? Not at all. Taker and Punk delivered, Brock and Triple H was much better than I ever imagined, and the ending of Rock-Cena more than made up for the slow opening that nearly put me to sleep. I think the true star of the night was Fandango (and his theme song) who came out almost as over as Daniel Bryan did last year.
Where does WWE go from here? Clearly Cena won't be turning heel but I don't know how long the WWE can go with the same old same old in terms of that character. Brock and CM Punk both need to be built back up to monster status, but against who given they both had their Cena PPV's? Dolph will need some really strong B-level Babyfaces to feud with after this Del Rio Angle dies out. Right now there are a lot of heels and not enough faces in the WWE to make great feuds... Stay Tuned to UFB for a preview of next month's PPV.
Awesome post! Couldn't agree more!
ReplyDeleteWhat affect will the weather play in the event?
Lows around 48 and 13 mph winds?