It's time to find out what really happened to those teenagers from Angel Grove after their lives as Power Rangers ended and the darkness consumed them...
With the 20th anniversary of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers upon us, I’ve realized that my love of the original show had nothing to do with campy action or Kung Fu fighting. It’s the 3 dimensional depth of these seemingly 2D characters and the extremely f**ked up situations that Zordon put them into day after day that drew me in. I tend to relate anything fantasy or sci-fi to real life, if this sh*t can’t be logically put into reality, then it doesn’t resonate with me. With that being said, as a kid I always thought, “How can Jason concentrate on homework when he has the power to call a twenty story metallic dinosaur to reign down destruction?” Beyond the initial coolness of Look I Have Super Powers, there’s some serious child endangerment going on in Angel Grove that laid the seeds for an epic tragedy. Power Rangers was about a group of kids who never got a fair shot at real life.
With the 20th anniversary of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers upon us, I’ve realized that my love of the original show had nothing to do with campy action or Kung Fu fighting. It’s the 3 dimensional depth of these seemingly 2D characters and the extremely f**ked up situations that Zordon put them into day after day that drew me in. I tend to relate anything fantasy or sci-fi to real life, if this sh*t can’t be logically put into reality, then it doesn’t resonate with me. With that being said, as a kid I always thought, “How can Jason concentrate on homework when he has the power to call a twenty story metallic dinosaur to reign down destruction?” Beyond the initial coolness of Look I Have Super Powers, there’s some serious child endangerment going on in Angel Grove that laid the seeds for an epic tragedy. Power Rangers was about a group of kids who never got a fair shot at real life.
This
is their story… this is their ending.
The Way I saw It: Origin of Evil
So this ghost in a tube called Zordon came to earth after
battling Rita Repulsa in some galactic civil war. Somehow this dude with no
f**king hands builds a command center, a robot with an annoying voice, some
power coins, and giant metal dinosaurs. Money, material, who pays the electric bill, none of this is ever explained, all we know is that Zordon has more bank
than the entire Cash Money Young Money Roster, and is stockpiling Weapons of
Mass Destruction for some reason. Years later Rita Repulsa pops up from a trash
can (huh?) and declares war on earth. What the hell did we do to Rita? Humans
were just beginning to understand how to wipe their ass with something other
than a hand during your galactic war. For reasons that no one bothers to ask or
research, Rita is pissed off at our planet. Zordon wakes up ready for war, but
despite having created color coded WMD’s he’s useless, so he needs an army to
do his dirt. Now you have to realize, Zordon can give these new powers to
anyone—Navy Seals, Special Forces, Chuck Norris, but he chooses some teenagers
from the local Jamba Juice. Maybe his teleporter didn’t work that far or he had
a thing for teenage ass, I don’t know.
So Zordon the intergalactic Warlord who doesn't even bother
to give us the backstory on his planet or why Rita is so mad, tells this
racially diverse group of students that some Asian chick from outer space with
a gold monkey is attacking Angel Grove. Yup, not New York, not Hong Kong, but some
little beach town in Southern California that doesn't even have a minor league
baseball team. I mean Buffy’s Sunnydale was built on a Hellmouth, which
explained the demonic activity. Angel Grove seemed built for the sole purpose
of having a Youth Center that assured Bulk and Skull wouldn't end up selling
Meth. Whatever, these are kids, they don’t know that they should ask questions
before going out to murder people (Putties have souls damn it!). Zordon feeds
these naïve teens some propaganda, gives them power coins, and without any
instruction they scream, “It’s Morphin Time!”, and go put in work. Thus the
legend began…
You spend three years of your high school life avoiding
death on a daily basis, then suddenly Zordon tires of you and brings in new
Power Rangers. Imagine the shock. That’s like Lebron James winning the state
championship then being told by the Governor of Ohio he’s banned from hoops, go
find something else to do in life. Zordon is a user; he set each one of the
Power Rangers up for failure, and then told them to kick rocks. The Power
Rangers had no other friends and spent all day either at school or at the damn
YMCA drinking protein shakes and practicing Karate. The Ranger’s parents (who apparently
gave zero f**ks) probably thought they were on drugs or in a cult, because they
were never home. Understand that being a Ranger meant there was never any time
for homework or studying, none of those kids scored high on the SAT, so bye bye
Stanford… so long Harvard. Angel Grove community college was destroyed like
twenty times, so It’s a safe bet that none of the Rangers continued their education
at the site of so many traumatic events. So after high school what’s left of
these kids mentally? Post traumatic stress disorder. If you were attacked by Putties
and giant insects 5 days out of the week, you wouldn't just forget that. A gold
monkey slashed you with a sword and knocked you out of a 30-story robot—you
have to take more than Tylenol PM to sleep at night. It was fun when they had invincible
power, now Zack, Trini, Jason, Kimberley, Billy, and Tommy are left to live in
a world they saved, but don’t understand.
20 Years Later: Where Are They Now
Billy: The
way I see it, Billy has to be the first one to snap. It’s 20 years later, he’s
a 34 year old substitute teacher who never found a man woman that was
right for him. Spends all his times trolling Power Ranger fan sites, telling
anyone that the Turbo Rangers were a bunch of no talent pu$$ies. Driven further
into madness Billy comes up with a plan. If a piece of sperm in a tube could
create power coins, so could he…
Kimberly: The first one to burn
out and quit being a Ranger, K. Hart, as she likes to be called now, never did
make it as a gymnast, her knees wrecked from years of battling monsters, it
robbed her of any dreams of being an Olympian. K. Hart now lives in the OC,
waiting tables, while trying to write her memoirs: It Ain’t Easy Being Pink: My
Life As A Power Ranger.
Jason: Jason
has a lot of demons. If you recall the Red, Yellow, and Black Rangers were the
first to be replaced under suspicious circumstances. Having been banished from
his home by Zordon under the guise of going to a World Peace Conference, he, Zack, and Trini were actually sent to a
chaos dimension as punishment for wanting to vacate their Ranger powers. Jason
of course made amends with the Warlord Zordon, and was allowed to return as the
Gold Ranger. But once again he finds himself powerless and nearing age 40.
Twice divorced and behind on the bills, Jason has taken to underground MMA
fights, an easy way to get that old rush back and make enough money to support
his pain pill addiction, the result of years of taking abuse for this retched
city.
Zack: After being freed from the
chaos dimension, Zack got as far away from Angel Grove as possible. Finally
ending up in Texas where he became a born again Christian. But Zacks faith
would soon be tested as his dance skills became noticed and the bright lights
of Hollywood called him. Choreographing dozens of Pop music videos, Zack was riding
high, but those dreams of Goldar beating his ass never left. With no family
support, Zack lost himself in the Hollywood party scene and the white lines of
nose candy.
Trini: Nearly
catatonic after escaping the chaos dimension, Trini internalized the most. She
moved to San Francisco where she gave birth to a child. The Post-Partum
combined with the horror of her teenage years were too much to bear. Trini took
her own life… but she did leave behind one note, which she mailed to Zack in
Los Angeles the night of her suicide, “take care of our daughter. She must
never know the pain of Angel Grove.”
Tommy: Having
stayed in Zordon’s good graces until the warlord’s death (See Power Rangers In Space), Tommy has remained a part of the Ranger family, as well as made himself
a very rich man, opening up Juice Bars and Martial Arts Schools along the west
coast. Married to a beautiful wife, with one son and another on the way, life
is good.
The Fall of Angel Grove: You Did This To Us!
After years of working in secret, Billy has finally rebuilt
the Command Center, and reverse engineered the Power Coin technology. He beams
the original rangers into the command center to tell them his plan. Jason,
Zack, and Kimberly are pissed, they tried to forget this Power Rangers trauma,
and here they are back where it first started. Billy tells them that he’s been
keeping tabs on them for the past five years, and he feels their pain. It’s not
a warm reunion as tensions are still raw after the death of Trini. No one but
Zack came to the funeral, and Tommy the rich smug bastard, had the nerve to
send Yellow Roses. Billy quickly quiets the gang and tells them that it’s not their
fault that their lives turned out sh*t. It was Zordon’s fault... It’s always
been Zordon’s f**king fault!
Billy has finally figured out why Rita, Zedd, and the rest
of the galaxy was so hell built on destroying Angel Grove. Downtown Angel Grove
was built on an intergalactic gateway, a secret tunnel buried centuries ago,
for use if the home world were ever destroyed. Zordon’s race, The Eltarians
were a Nazi like band of conquerors who lost the 2 thousand year war. Since
then the Eltarian Cabal have been amassing a new army and slowly but steadily
opening the gateway from below Angel Grove. The Power Rangers weren’t created
To stop evil, they were guardians meant to safeguard the portal and insure
that Zordon’s civilization would have a new home to rule over.
Stunned by the news, K. Hart breaks down in tears, she
demands that Billy teleport Tommy to the command center, he will know what to
do. Billy breaks the news that Tommy already knew what Zordon really was, he
became conscious of Zordon’s master plan the moment he became the so called
Evil Green Ranger. In order to keep his powers and later to become the White
Ranger, Tommy made a deal with the devil Zordon; he would keep his secret if he
kept his power. Jason is floored, he always knew Tommy was a son of a bitch,
this confirms it. Zack is having a mental breakdown, he’s coming down from a
cocaine high and can’t deal. Billy calms him down by giving him a shot, which
takes the edge off.
Red, Pink, Black, and Blue, Billy holds up the power coins
and ask if they are ready to destroy Angel Grove and save the world. Jason
reminds him that they need to find a yellow Ranger, maybe that black chick Aiesha;
she was cool and had a banging body back in the day. Billy has found a new
Yellow Ranger and steps aside, Enter 16 year old Zhang, Zack and Trini’s
daughter conceived when they were at the World
Peace Conference aka The Chaos Dimension. Zhang is already in a yellow
ranger suit and looks similar to her mother. Zack embraces his daughter and promise
to do better. Billy hands out the power coins and the rangers take their familiar
stance. This will be their last mission. Either they destroy Angel Grove, or
the world will eventually feel the wrath of the Zordon’s master race. K. Hart
reminds them that Tommy and the new Rangers will be there to stop them... Zack
smiles, “Let those mother—ers try!”
..Jason steps in front of the team and screams for
the final time in his life, “It’s Morphin Time!”
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